Dear Little Buddies,
A few nights ago, I found myself tangled in one of those wine night conversations with some folks studying abroad from the US. We ended up drifting into that familiar existential “rabbit hole”: What is the meaning of all this? This – life! Somewhere between sips of wine and shared pauses, we reached one conclusion that in the end, nothing really matters.
Now wait – before you jump to conclusions, I don’t mean it in a dark or hopeless way. In fact, quite the opposite. It’s a soft kind of nothing. A gentle release from the pressure we put on ourselves. A reminder that most of the things we torment ourselves over aren’t worth the weight we give them. The little things we agonize over, the moments that make our stomachs twist with anxiety, the imagined embarrassments and petty conflicts – they don’t matter. That one awkward thing you said five years ago? The person you think still remembers it? They don’t. The missed deadline, the delayed response, the social media post you rewrote ten times? None of it carries the weight we assign to it. As Haruki Murakami once wrote, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
And yet, this realization goes both ways. The things we chase – the perfect résumé, Ivy Leagues, Forbes 30Under30, the picture-perfect vacation, new house, new Porsche, the approval of people we don’t even like – those don’t hold weight either. Even our grandest achievements will, in the long run, fade into the vast history of time. We are all just passing through, like footprints on a shoreline that the tide inevitably washes away.
If you want proof of this, look at history. How many kings and queens obsessed over their legacies, only to be reduced to a paragraph in a textbook? How many artists feared obscurity, only for their work to be discovered long after they were gone? Even the tallest buildings will someday crumble, and the greatest empires will eventually be footnotes. And yet, here we are, agonizing over typos in emails.
But rather than letting this make us feel small, I find it incredibly freeing. If nothing truly lasts, then we get to decide what matters for ourselves. We get to choose where we place our energy.
For example, I once met a retired scientist who spent his whole life chasing prestigious titles, only to realize in his 70s that his happiest moments had nothing to do with his work. Instead, it was the quiet, simple joys – teaching his grandson how to ride a bike, walking his dog on crisp autumn mornings, writing letters to old friends – that he remembered most vividly. He told me, “I spent so much time chasing significance that I forgot to enjoy life.”
That conversation stuck with me. If we’re lucky, we’ll all reach an age where we look back and reflect. And when that time comes, will we care about the late-night work emails? The people who doubted us? The titles we collected like trophies? Or will it be the laughter, the people who truly knew us, the moments when we felt free?
In Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, he wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Meaning isn’t something we discover – it’s something we create. Life is constantly asking us, “What will you do with the time you have?” And our answer changes depending on where we are, who we are, and what we need in that moment.
For a long time, I thought meaning had to be something grand – a legacy, a major achievement, something to prove I existed. But I’ve come to realize that meaning is often found in the smallest things. It’s in holding hands with someone you love. It’s in rereading your favorite book and noticing something new. It’s in standing at the edge of the ocean and feeling tiny in the best possible way. It’s in the first sip of coffee on a slow morning, in the music that makes your heart ache in the most beautiful way, in the way sunlight filters through the trees at golden hour.
So, if nothing really matters in the grand scheme of the universe, then maybe that’s the best news of all. It means we are free to live as we choose. To create, to love, to embrace every fleeting moment. To let go of the things that don’t serve us. To laugh more, to stress less, to forgive easily. To be the kind of person who, decades from now, looks back with a full heart and no regrets.
Free to love people wholeheartedly. Free to make mistakes and begin again. Free to make art, even if no one sees it. Free to be silly, to cry at sunsets, to wear clothes that make us feel like ourselves.
And if we’re free, then maybe our real purpose is simply to live beautifully. Whatever that means to you.
There’s a quote by Mary Oliver that I think about often: Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
Whatever your answer is, I hope it makes you feel alive. I hope it brings you joy. I hope it makes you feel something. I hope it feels like home.
And maybe that’s what those wine night talks are really about—not so much solving the mysteries of the universe, but holding space for each other to feel a little less alone in the chaos. Sitting on plastic chairs under flickering string lights, surrounded by half-eaten bags of chips and the quiet hum of the fan, we weren’t really debating philosophy. We were just a group of kids, wondering if we were doing life right, hoping that maybe – just maybe – someone else felt the same.
We passed around stories like tea cups. Some were silly: the time someone went on a date thinking it was a networking meeting, or how a friend’s crush liked every Instagram story except the one where they actually looked good. Others were heavier: the quiet ache of being far from home, the pressure of proving ourselves, the fear of waking up ten years later and realizing we had spent our best years trying to be someone else’s version of successful.
And yet, in those stories, there was something strangely comforting. A shared recognition that none of us really knew what we were doing – and that was okay.
One friend said something that stuck with me: “What if we’re just here to witness beauty and be kind?” It sounds simple, almost too simple. But maybe life doesn’t need to be complicated. Maybe it’s enough to be present when a friend needs a hug, to laugh so hard your stomach hurts, to cry in front of someone and not feel ashamed. Maybe it’s enough to be the person who notices the sunset when everyone else is looking down.
We talk so much about finding our purpose, but perhaps our only job is to live fully. Not in the Instagrammable way, not in the hustle culture kind of way, but in the way that fills your chest with warmth. To send that text. To take the picture. To show up for people. To dance even when no one else is dancing.
Because in the end, when the stars are gone and the phones have long stopped buzzing, it won’t be the metrics that mattered. It’ll be the memories. The late-night talks. The handwritten notes. The spontaneous road trips. The way your best friend looked at you when you said you were scared, and they simply said, “I’m here.”
So yes, maybe nothing really matters – but somehow, that makes everything we choose to care about feel even more sacred.
And if you ever find yourself spiraling again at midnight, wondering whether any of this makes sense, just know you’re not alone. Look out the window. Take a breath. Have some wine. Or make some tea. Text a friend.
And ask yourself, not with panic but with wonder:
What do I want to do with this one wild and precious life?
Then go do it.
Even if it’s small.
Especially if it’s small.
P/S: it’s also okay to be ghosted by a crush. Just be authentic. Be yourself. Tell your feelings. If they don’t like it, their problem :D
Perhaps one of the greatest tragedies in human life. But bright side, it’s still better than if you had sent a message by carrier pigeon in the past and don’t know if the reason you’re being ghosted is because:
-
- He doesn’t love you,
- His family ate the pigeon
- His neighbor ate the pigeon,
- He died 🙁,
- He met someone else at the festival, or
- His father married him off for 3 bushels of corn 🌽🌽🌽
…..
(Situation heavily inspired by a friend). Yep, so chill, guys! We are all gonna be fine!
